i'm still defeated by missing . fiuhhh ~~~`

i oways remain cheerful and strong to face the days no matter what happen .
but sometimes i can't admit that i'm defeated by missing that can't describe by any words !

LONELY , MISSING , HOPING R MY FEELING ~

See one by one of my buddies gets their happiness , i'm happy for them , envy them and feel sad of myself >.< because i oredi found my happiness but i can't be with him ! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . WHY ? WHY ?
i'm really wanna stay by his side 4eva . i want HIM in my life !
suddenly , selfish thinking appeared on my mind .
i thought to ask him to study abroad together with me so we wouldn't apart , we could still having each other . at that time , i really wanna sms to tell him such words !

formerly , i keen to study abroad together but i neva told him because i dun wan to be burdern to him , i dun want him study abroad just for me . future is his ! only he can decide . i dun want him to make wrrrong choice .

but today , because offfff envyy my buddies , that selfish thinking appeared .
but i dun have that courage to tell him because i knew that was selfish !